LESSON NINE

MARRIAGE AND RESPONSIBILITY

  I. MARRIAGE DEFINED: Genesis 2:23-24

A. Marriage is an agreement by which a man and woman consent to live together as husband and wife, mutually accepting all the responsibilities that the relationship involves and properly expecting all the rights and privileges incident thereto.

B. Marriage then is the contract by which a home is established:

a. If marriage were ONLY a civil contract it would still hold first place in importance as far as this life is concerned.

C. DIVINE DESIGN:

1. In 20th century America, C. W. Scudder notes, we may need to be reminded that God, who created man, also designed marriage. Too often we consider marriage a social custom only and ignore the spiritual dimension that it contains. God created humanity in two parts, male and female, and each was made to complete the other in every way, biologically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

2. Marriage is a sacred union of man and wife designed to complete one another's existence. Jesus affirmed this in Matthew 19:5.

3. Marriage is to be considered the strongest of all human ties. No human relationship, even that of parent and child, is to have priority over it. Marriage changes our primary relationship from that of a son or daughter to that of a husband or wife.

 II. MARRIAGE WAS ORDAINED BY GOD: (For happiness and well being of mankind)

A. GENESIS 2:18 ff CF. Matthew 19:9

1. Marriage is far more than a civil contract in which the state is concerned.

2. Marriage, in its scriptural sense, is a permanent union of two personalities under God's law and before man. This union is entered for the remainder of the natural lives of those taking the marriage vows, Matthew 19:6. And any deviation from this divinely ordained plan must be the exception and not the rule.

B. MARRIAGE IS A COMPLETE FUSION OF THE HOPES, POSSESSIONS AND CARES OF BOTH THE MAN AND WOMAN:

1. "I" must be subordinated to "We".

2. Even father and mother must take a secondary position. Husbands and wives are required to put each other first.

3. "Two minds with but a single thought. Two hearts that beat as one."

C. MARRIAGE WAS:

1. Ordained of God in the beginning (Genesis 2:24).

2. Confirmed by Christ (Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7).

3. Confirmed by Paul (Ephesians 5:31).

D. EXPRESSED BY:

1. Joining together (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:31).

2. Taking to wife:

a. Moses parents (Ex. 2:1).

b. Boaz and Ruth (Ruth 4:13).

E. COMMENDED IN THE SCRIPTURES:

1. Old Testament (Proverbs 18:22; 31:10-12; Jer. 29:6).

2. New Testament (I Timothy 3:12; I Timothy 5:14; Hebrews 13:4).

F. AUTHORITY IN MARRIAGE:

1. Husband head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church. (I Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23,25).

2. Wife submissive to husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:5; I Peter 3:1).

3. Example of submission in marriage: (Sarah, I Peter 3:5,6).

4. Common rule for relationships in marriage and the home (Matt. 7:12).

III. A MUTUAL TRUST:

"The heart of her husband TRUSTETH in her, and he shall have no lack of gain. She doeth him good, and not evil all the days of her life" (Proverbs 31:11,12).

1. How do we know the trust is mutual? (I Corinthians 7:2,3,4; I Corinthians 11:11,12).

A. HOW THE HUSBAND SHOWS HIS TRUST:

1. He works for her (Genesis 29:20).

2. He gives her his best (Est. 2:17).

3. He loves her as:

a. His body (Eph. 5:28)

b. Himself (Eph. 5:33)

c. Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25).

4. He comforts her (I Samuel 1:8ff).

5. He consults with her (Genesis 31:4-7).

6. He is faithful to her (Proverbs 5:19).

7. He honors her (I Peter 3:7).

B. HOW THE WIFE SHOWS HER TRUST:

1. How is a worthy woman to complete her husband's life?

a. Physically (Genesis 2:24) (I Cor. 7:1-5).

b. By comforting him (Isaac - Genesis 24:67).

2. Other evidences of her relationship:

a. Honor (Est. 1:20).

b. Not to leave him (I Corinthians 7:10).

c. Reverence (Ephesians 5:33).

C. HOW LONG DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP ENDURE? (Romans 7:2)

IV. OBLIGATIONS OF MARRIAGE: (Ephesians 5:33)

A. DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND:

1. To leave his family and cleave to his wife (Gen. 2:23,24; Deut. 24:5; Mark 10:7; Eph. 5:31).

2. To be happy with her (Proverbs 5:18; Eccl. 9:9).

3. Not to put her away (I Cor. 7:11).

4. To love her as Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25).

5. To dwell with her according to knowledge (study her) as the weaker vessel - giving honor as such (I Peter 3:7).

6. To provide for the family (I Timothy 5:8).

B. DUTIES OF THE WIFE (Proverbs 31).

1. To honor her husband (Est. 1:20)

2. To manage the house well (Proverbs 31:27)

3. Not to leave her husband (I Corinthians 7:10)

4. To be submissive (not to usurp authority over him)(Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; I Timothy 2:12).

5. To be gracious, not slanderous, sober, faithful - I Timothy 3:11.

6. To love her husband and children - Titus 2:4.

C. WHY ONE MAN AND ONE WIFE?

1. Adam had but one wife (Genesis 2:18-24).

2. Each man had one wife in the ark (Genesis 7:13).

3. Wife is "singular" when used by Christ (Matthew 19:4,5).

4. Paul endorsed one man having one wife (I Corinthians 7:2).

5. Elders and deacons were to have but one wife (I Timothy 3:2,12).

V. MARRIAGE A FIGURE OF GOD'S UNION WITH THE CHURCH.

A. Isa. 54:5; 62:5; Jer. 3:14; Hos. 2:19; Matt. 22:2; 25:10

1. Christ as bridegroom (Matt. 9:15; 25:1,6; John 3:29; Rev. 21:2).

2. Church as the bride (Isa. 62:5; II Cor. 11:2; Rev. 19:7; 21:2; 22:17).

VI. QUALITIES TO BE DEVELOPED DURING MARRIAGE:

1. Love (I Cor. 13:4-8).

2. Kindness (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:12).

3. Self-control (II Peter 1:15).

4. Courtesy (Col. 4:6).

5. Co-operation (Matt. 18:19; Mark 2:3).

6. Unselfishness (I Cor. 10:33; II Cor. 8:9).

7. Compassion (Acts 16:33).

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

  1. Marriage is not merely a physical union or a legal contract, but a divine oneness for the following purposes:

  2. Why did God say, "Leave" and "Cleave"? What does that imply?

  3. Should a wife obey her husband's wishes when they are contrary to the Lord's teaching? (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18).

  4. How can two people be happily married when they differ in:

a. Religious ideals?

b. Moral standards?

c. Where to place the values?

  5. How would you formulate a definition of marriage? What does marriage mean to you?

  6. Does either party have the greater responsibility in marriage?

  7. With what does a man entrust the woman he marries?

  8. Is there any place for jealousy in a happy home? Gen. 16:5,6; 21:9,10; Song of Solomon 8:6; Gal. 5:26 -  Bickering and nagging?

 9. How important would you consider "forgiveness and forbearance"? (Col. 3:13; Eph. 4:2,3).

10. How can we make our homes "Christian"?

INTRODUCTION:

Through the centuries, parents, and children have had their problems. Many mistakes have been made by each. Too often, little attempt has been made to understand each other. An understanding of right and wrong (as defined in the Bible) with an understanding of each other, can blend together to produce happy homes. The following survey is to help you arrive at that very point. Carefully answer each question with the answer you feel bests express the way you feel about the point. Therefore, be completely honest in order that we might have a more perfect approach to the problem. NO ONE WILL SIGN HIS OR HER NAME.

I. DISCIPLINE AS IT RELATES TO PARENTS AND YOUTH:

A. Questions:

__________  1. Do you feel your parents are happy they have children?

__________  2. Do you think your parents are fair in discipline?   What  do you think would be fair?

__________  3. Do you think parents should ever spank children?

__________  4. Do your parents still spank you?  If not, at what age did they stop? ________

__________  5. At what age do you think parents should stop spanking children?

__________  6. Do you get mad (or pout) when your parents correct you? Do you think such reactions helps you in any way?

__________  7. Would you rather for your parents to spank you rather than talk to you when you have done wrong?

__________  8. Are you more likely to obey your mother or father? (Underline which) Why? (Explain).

__________  9. Do your mother and father usually agree in regard to what you should, or should not do?

__________10. Do your parents disagree about you while you are present? Do you think this wise? If they do, how do you react?

__________11. Do you feel a sense of fear toward your parents?

__________12. Do you think a feeling of fear created in the child is necessary to make the child obey?

__________13. Is it easier to talk to one parent, than the other for you? If so, explain why.

__________14. Is there more than one child in your family?

__________15. Do you think your parents show "favoritism" (allowing one to get away with more than the other)?

__________16. Do you think your parents try to understand your side when they decide to discipline you?

__________17. Does the discipline they give make you want to do better?

18. List the ways you have received discipline from your parents.

19. List other ways discipline could be applied.

20. Now, check the three ways you think best.

Now consider how you would discipline the following children: (Circle the answer you like best).

1. Your child has lied to you about where he was going, but you did not find out until he had already gone. What would you do?

a. Give him a good spanking?

b. Make him write, "I told a lie, and I am sorry" 500 times?

c. Read the Bible about lying (or show it to him and make him read from it).

2. Your child has stolen some goods from a store. What would you do?

a. Give him a good spanking.  Take the "stuff" back.

b. Get him before other children and shame him as a "Young No-Good Thief".

c. Make him take the goods back to the owner, apologize to him, and offer to work in order to repay the damage done.

3. Your daughter has been doing some things that shocked you when you heard of it. What would you do?

a. Bawl her out and shame her for what she has done to the family name.

b. Threaten to make her leave home if she is ever guilty again.

c. Tell her how much it hurt you and urge her never to do it again.

d. Talk with her and ask her why she has done such? Have you considered what it will do for your future? Do you feel good about it now that it is known?

4. If you heard that your child was slipping around smoking, what would you do?

a. Give them a good spanking and promise them worse if they are caught again.

b. Tell them you wish they wouldn't do it but if they are going to smoke, come and you will buy them for them. Don't bum them.

c. Discuss the Bible teaching on cleanness; the body a temple of the Holy Spirit; consider the cost; ask them what good will it do? Could it harm?