LESSON FOUR
COURTSHIP (#2)
INTRODUCTION
In
our lesson last week we noticed some facts about courtship. We noticed that the
first step before dating is usually friendship. There are several things that
are essential in developing a good friendship. Likewise, there are many things
that are detrimental to a good friendship.
We
also noticed some uncertainties in the dating period. But perhaps the most
important thing we discussed was our standard of behavior while out on a date.
The standard of the world must not be the standard of the Christian. The Word
of God is the standard for the Christian.
In
this lesson we want to continue our study of courtship and some more things
that relate to it.
I. THE CHURCH AND COURTSHIP
A.
THE CHURCH IS NOT PRIMARILY A MATCH-MAKING
INSTITUTION. BUT WE CAN BE WELL PROUD OF THE FRIENDSHIP WHICH GROWS DEEPER
UNTIL THEIR DESTINIES END IN MARRIAGE.
B. NOTICE SOME ADVANTAGES THE CHURCH OFFERS:
1.
The church offers a meeting ground for its members who hold and share a common
interest.
2.
Its activities are Christ centered.
3.
Its activities demand the cooperation of all who care for its welfare.
4.
Friendship develops in this atmosphere.
5.
What better place to meet a godly person, than at the Lord's Assembly?
C.
THINGS THE LOCAL CONGREGATION CAN DO TO PROVIDE
FELLOWSHIP AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE YOUNG TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER:
1.
Fellowship among our members.
2.
Area-wide youth fellowships.
3.
Projects where cooperation and work is required of all.
4.
Special events and services for young people.
5.
What suggestion do you have?
II. THE CHRISTIAN COLLEGE AND COURTSHIP
A. NINETY-SIX PERCENT OF ALL THE COLLEGE STUDENTS IN
A CHRISTIAN COLLEGE ARE CHRISTIANS.
1.
What a wonderful opportunity for a Christian to meet another Christian with
similar interests.
B. THERE ARE MANY ACTIVITIES PECULIAR TO THE
CHRISTIAN COLLEGE:
1.
Chapel services each day (A time to worship God).
2.
Periods of singing and prayer.
3.
Bible reading and studying.
4.
Good moral, clean companions.
5.
All activities are wholesome and pure.
6.
High standard of morality demanded of students.
7.
Teachers who are Christians.
C. WHAT A WONDERFUL PLACE TO GO AND RECEIVE A GOOD
EDUCATION, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME BEING ABLE TO MEET THAT DEDICATED PERSON YOU
WOULD LIKE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH.
III. SOME THINGS TO BE AWARE OF DURING THE
DATING
PERIOD
A. DATING TURNS INTO MATE SELECTION.
B. LET'S ASK SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS PERSON WE ARE
GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT:
1.
Does he or she have real character?
a.
This is one of the most important basis for a successful Christian marriage to
be based upon.
b.
Solomon describes a woman's real character in Proverbs 31:
2.
What about his or her family background?
a. "I'm not marrying her family", is a
popular statement. Don't fool
yourself. His or her family will play a big part usually in your marriage
success.
b. It's hard for two people with different
backgrounds to find anything in common.
c. But one might say, "But we love each
other,
and that's all that matters". Again don't fool yourself with this type of
thinking.
(1)
What will happen after the infatuation wears off?
d. Accept it or not,
family backgrounds are important
in selecting a mate.
3.
Is he or she sympathetic and considerate?
a. For and toward other people.
b. Would you want to be married to an unconcerned and
highly critical person?
4.
Does he or she have a cheerful outlook on life?
a. The person whose outlook of life included
generous
impulses toward people and things is the one that you should single out as a
possible good marriage partner.
b. Don't link your life with someone who
is overly
critical.
5.
IS he or she physically attractive to you?
a. Of course you want to be proud of the
appearance
of the person you marry; that goes without saying.
b. But what do we mean
by physical attractiveness?
(1) A Zulu with a nose ring would not qualify
in
America, but according to jungle standards she might be a glamour girl.
(2)
After all, beauty is largely a matter of social custom.
c. It is important,
however, that the mate you choose
be physically attractive TO YOU.
(1) Don't worry about pleasing others.
You are the
one who must spend a lifetime with the mate you choose.
6.
Does he or she have good health?
a. Some facts to consider before marrying
someone
with poor health.
(1) There may be no children. (Can you accept this?)
(2) If there are children, they may inherit
tendencies to physical weakness. (Can you be patient with this?)
(3) Medical care may
be a severe financial strain.
(Are you prepared for it?)
(4) Health may affect entire family. (Are you
ready
for their fear, remarks of sorrow, cuts about, etc?)
(5) Can effect ones
outlook on life (Happiness or
unhappiness).
b. This is not to say that marriage where sickness
exists is impossible. Many happy marriages have been established out of such
conditions. The point is: that you need to be fully aware of such conditions,
so that you can enter the marriage well aware of the problem that exists.
7.
Do you have similar interests?
a. Similar interests are a must!
(1) In one sense similar interests suggest such
things as hobbies, sports, arts and other cultural tastes.
(2) The dullest thing
in the world is for two people
to live together and have nothing in common to share.
C. SEEK YOUR COMPANION
AT THE RIGHT PLACE:
1.
Entertain through mediums where you:
a. Have discerned between good and evil
(I Thess.
5:21; Gal. 5:19ff).
b. Do not harm your body (Romans 12:1; I Cor. 6:19).
c. Do not appeal to the indecent (Phil. 4:8f).
d. Where you do not
undermine Spirituality.
e. Where you will not be among corrupt "moral
companions" (I Cor. 14:35).
f. Where you will not destroy your influence (Prov.
22:1; I Cor. 8: 13) •
g. Friendship with God will not be strained (John
15:15).
D. SEEK A COMPANION WHO IS ALREADY HAPPY:
1.
If one has not been happy in single life, it is not likely that he will be in
married life.
a. Marriage is not a "cure-all".
2.
Many are in the habit of being miserable - don't marry a grouch, it is not
likely he or she will change.
3. Some of the joy of married life is drawn
from
earlier single life, and some of the happiness of old age is drawn from earlier
married life and youth. So be happy as you are, whether married or single. Keep
your head level and your heart pure. Learn to be content. (Phil. 4:11)
REVIEW QUESTIONS
1. Is the Church a
match-making institution? __________ Yes
__________ No
2. List four (4)
advantages the church offers.
1.
2.
3.
4.
3. List four (4) ways the
local congregation can promote fellowship
1.
2.
3.
4.
4. What percent of the
students in Christian colleges are Christians? _______________________________
5. List five (5)
activities that are peculiar to the Christian college.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Would a Christian
college be a good place to find a good marriage mate? _________ Yes _________ No
7. List seven (7)
questions we should ask about the person we are getting serious about.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8. Seek your
____________________ at the ____________________ place.
9. List seven (7) things
that should be considered when you plan entertainment.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
10.
Seek a _______________ who is _______________ _______________.
11.
A person who is not happy in single life will become so in marriage. __________
Yes __________ No
12.
Marriage is not a “ _______________
_______________”.
13.
Don't marry a ____________________.
14.
Is it likely an unhappy person will change after marriage? __________ Yes __________ No
15.
Some of the happiness of married life is drawn from single life. __________
Yes __________ No
16.
Should we be happy as we are? __________ Yes __________ No
17.
Write out Philippians 4:11.
