LESSON TWO
SOME FACTS ABOUT GROWING UP
INTRODUCTION:
Most of us have heard the
statement: "Oh, why don't you grow up."
This statement is usually
made to those who are acting childish in their conduct. No one likes to be told
this. But the fact remains that many people do need "to grow up". We
frequently hear middle aged people talk about growing old gracefully. Why not
grow UP gracefully?
When one is seriously
thinking about marriage, he must ask himself:
"Am I grown up
enough to accept all the responsibilities that go with marriage?"
I. HOW WE GROW UP
A.
CHRONOLOGICALLY:
1. Growing up physically has its compensations:
a. New clothes, stronger, more grown-up
b. Mental development, physical size,
etc.
c. There are some disadvantages: Awkward
and gangly, fun poked at,
clothes do not fit. Mental, social,
and emotional adjustment.
d. It's God's plan for us to develop in time.
We will
be able to face these difficult periods if we understand this.
B. SOCIALLY:
1. When one is very, very young, he has 4 dominant
characteristics:
a. Dependence: (Upon adults for provisions,
attention, food, clothes, protection from harm, etc.)
b. He is a passive
recipient: (A little
"gimme", accepting everything that is done for him as a matter of
course, gives nothing in return.)
c. Eager to learn: (He is busy, investigating,
asking
questions, etc.)
d. Very self-centered: (It is "mine or me
first" every time.)
(1) ADOLESCENT PROBLEMS: Since adolescence is the
stage before adulthood is reached, how close to these goals should the
adolescent reach?
(a) Do you have self-reliance versus dependence?
(b) Have you a spirit of learning? Ambitious, ready
to start at the "foot of the ladder and work up?"
(c) Are you an active
contributor? Cook, sew, can
make a garden, visit the sick, teach others God's word, assist in personal work
program of church, meet people from all walks of life, etc?
C. EMOTIONALLY:
1. Emotions are very important. They are said to give
color to life. However, one who is emotionally unstable is hard to live with.
(Those who laugh or cry easily, have hysterics; elated one moment and depressed
the next.)
2. The Love Emotion: (goes through different stages)
a. Infantile
Completely
self-centered. Then recognizes his mother or the one who takes care of him. A
little later, the father is included.
b. School level (ages 6-12)
Girls
have their secret clubs, boys their gangs.
They
have practically nothing to do with each other. They just want to have fun,
thrills and excitement.
c. Early adolescence (Junior High)
Hero
worship stage. "A crush". Then a brief "rough house"
period; boys pull the girls' hair, girls snatch boys' cap, etc.
d. Senior High stage
Fall
in and out of love rapidly. Puppy love, people call it. Become very interested
in own personal appearance.
e. Adult (ages 19-up)
Select
marriage partner with more wisdom. Life-long affection for one person of
opposite sex. (In U.S. the medium for men is 25 years of age, women 22 years of
age).
3. Other Emotions:
a.
Fear:
Learn
to be cautious, neither timid nor foolhardy, not reckless, "thrill-type".
Fear prompts a fighting spirit ...fear of failure, poverty, etc.
b. Anger:
Aggressiveness;
pugnacity. Develop the adult characteristic of "righteous
indignation". Fight to right some social, moral wrong. Lawyers fight to
win their cases; physicians and nurses fight to save lives of their patients.
Christians should fight to save souls from perdition.
c. Sensitiveness:
"Touchy"
feelings are easily hurt. The adult level of sensitiveness is desirable ••
considerate of feelings of others. Kindness to children, even your enemies.
(Peacemakers, endurance of persecution, etc. Matthew 5:9ff)
CONCLUSION
The
maturity that one needs in order to be a good husband or wife comes only
through continued growth. One of the most difficult tasks of ministers and
marriage counselors is to persuade people to TAKE TIME, TIME TO GROW, TIME TO
FIND THE RIGHT PERSON, TIME TO FALL IN LOVE INTELLIGENTLY, AND COMPLETELY, AND
TIME TO BECOME THE RIGHT PERSON.
Above
all else; as you grow in the above ways, be sure to grow in your understanding
of what God can mean in your life. Learn the privilege and power of prayer.
Study God's word and build its truth and ideals and principles into your daily
life. Grow as Jesus grew "in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and
men". (Luke 2:52).
QUESTIONS FOR
DISCUSSION:
1.
"Oh why don't you ____________ up."
2.
This statement is usually made to those who are acting
______________________________.
3.
We hear middle aged people talk about ____________________ gracefully.
4.
Why not ____________________ gracefully?
5.
Before marriage we should ask ourselves, "Am I ____________________
enough?"
6.
List three (3) areas we grow up in:
a. ____________________ b.
____________________
c.
____________________
7.
Are there compensations for growing up physically? _____ Yes
_____ No
a. What are the advantages?
________________________________________________
b. What are some of the disadvantages?
_______________________________________
8.
List four (4) characteristics of the very, very young:
a.
___________________________________________________________________
b.
___________________________________________________________________
c.
___________________________________________________________________
d. ___________________________________________________________________
9.
List the Three (3) goals you must reach from adolescence to adulthood.
a.
___________________________________________________________________
b.
___________________________________________________________________
c.
___________________________________________________________________
10. Emotions are
____________________ important.
11. When one has an
emotional problem it is ____________________ to live ____________________them.
12. List the five (5)
stages that the love emotion goes through.
a.
_________________________
b.
_________________________
c.
_________________________
d.
_________________________
e.
_________________________
13.
What are the other
three (3) emotions?
a. ________________________ b.
________________________
c.
_______________________
14. The _________________ that one needs in order to
be a _________________ husband or wife
comes
only ________________ continued
____________________.
15. What is one of the
most difficult tasks for ministers?__________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
16. We need to be sure we ____________________ in our
understanding of what ____________________
can
_______________ in our lives. .
